metacognition

Four weeks down... being halfway done seems like a significant achievement, but at the same time having to do it all over again feels like a lot. Whether my glass that represents my time in Beijing is half full or empty, I'm at a good point to do some self reflection. I'll try to add some pictures of recent excursions when I have better wifi, but this post is mostly a thought dump for myself.

On language:

In high school, we read 1984, and it was one of my favorite books. George Orwell was one of the first people who helped me realize the power of language, and, more specifically, how it can be abused. In this novel, "Newspeak," a over-simplistic style of language engineered by a totalitarian government, is used to effectively eradicate individualism and imagination; taking away language as a means of expression gives the Party ultimate control. And it's something I've experienced in my life. It's already difficult to imagine others having thoughts as complex as your own, but a language barrier intensifies this. Back when I only knew a few simple Chinese grammar structures and the most basic nouns and adjectives, I wrongly attributed my limitations of expression as being characteristic of the language itself and not my own skill level. As I learn more and more Chinese and expand my vocabulary, I've found that it's actually not all that different from my mother tongue and have come to appreciate the complexity of both the language and the people who speak it.

We don't necessarily need spoken language that is shared with other people in order to have inner dialogue, thoughts, and feelings (right?) but it's hard to imagine them not being in a language, per se. I've often asked my parents, who speak English fluently as a second language, what language they think in. They said it depends on the situation, but in America it's often English. I can't imagine being so comfortable in a non-native language that I can use it to think. Is there "language" in an animals head? A quick tangent on this point is that in Chinese, the word for behavior, 行为, generally can't be paired with animals, which says something about how animals are perceived in different cultures! Here, the fact that animals can't have "behavior" in the same way that humans do puts a lot of distance between us from an ecological standpoint.

Hopefully my blurb wasn't completely illogical, if you have your own thoughts feel free to comment or contact me, I'd love to pick your brain :)

In other news, our week-long social study trip begins tomorrow! I'm going to Hui Zhou （徽州）. Instead of writing a research paper I'll by filming a movie-- fingers crossed that that was the right move. Also, I think my studying Chinese is at the expense of my English, I can feel my grammar and vocabulary deteriorating.

Cheers,

Sofia

Pictured: 承德 and 圆明园